Friday the 19th

I got an e-mail again today. Friday is new. It seems like he writes when I least expect him to. He was sick again. I know I shouldn’t worry, but it does seem as though his immune system is a bit out of whack. Can’t wait to see him again. One more month. Hope we’ll meet privately after that; this time I’ll bring a “cheat sheet”. I also know that he needs some time, as all friendships (yes, I talk of friendship now) do. Must “work” on my other (real) friendships more, but these I tend to take for granted. I know that I mustn’t.

I’ll have two consultations next week. Hope these will “make me work”. I know I have to get there myself, just need directions.

No weigh-in this week. Might go back to WW temporarily, after a planned pig-out on Monday. I’m provisionally on WW now, so no excuse about not starting before Monday. Did the treadmill on top of Power Plate session yesterday, walked 4k in 45 mins. 100 miles in 100 days? I’m there already. One of these days I’ll start running.

*update: I walked 5 miles on the treadmill. My legs now hurt. I know that it’ll take a year until I’ll be able to run 5k at beginners’ level. But I might get there, eventually.

I love him. But I really want to be his friend. Really.

I tried to post a few days ago, but my time ran out before I could save the entry. I saw him again and it was lovely as ever. However, I haven’t asked him for a private meeting yet. I will see him again in 39 days and hope there’ll be a chance to ask then. Still, I hope that he’ll say yes. I first of all hope that an opportunity will arise to ask him at all then.

I’m getting a consultation tomorrow, but I don’t know yet whether I will touch upon this subject at all. I think I have to, as this so dictates my life right now. I hope I have not done anything wrong last time. Waiting for an answer to a short email again …

I’ll very soon be under ten stone. My goal is to drop under sixty kgs before October 19th.

The weight loss really shows now, but not so much on the scale. People start commenting on it.

Maybe I’ll write him an e-mail before the 7th, but I might just wait. I so hope that he’ll be happy to see me.

I’ll see him again in a month. Can’t wait. Hope to lose some more weight. I don’t know whether he really cares, but I’ll do it for myself, too, as it reflects on my self-esteem. I worry for him, as he seems to be losing weight, too, which he can’t really afford. But then, he runs. I so hope he’s well.