alone. kind.

March 31, 2009

Getting a grip

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — liat2 @ 11:25 am

He did read my letter and a short while later I received one of the most honest,  sincere, but also blunt and hopeless answers I’ve ever received. He pretty much explained that he wanted to be my friend, but not more than that. In a way it was comforting, but also devastating at the same time. I’m still struggling as to what to make of it and it’s a rather painful process. I so hope to see him very soon. It just has to work out. Again, I know it will be hard and he doesn’t want me to cry (hates it, actually), so I’ll have to work on that. There is no use in showing him that I can’t do it, so I’ll have to do my best.

Training for a 5k in July. There might be as much as a half marathon in the works as early as next summer, but I’m not sure yet.

August 9, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — liat2 @ 8:58 pm

I mustn’t start resenting him now. I did write an e-mail and now I’m worried sick. This is not healthy, but then, don’t we like exactly these things? Why am I so obsessed? Or is it that I just like to think it is affecting me more than it really is? I am so confused. Is it all just a ploy to distract myself from my real problems? I really want to hear from him. I know he probably needs some time. I know when there’s nothing tomorrow morning, I will fall apart. Or I’ll go completely numb.

He has someone to take care of him, if he really needs anyone at all. He certainly doesn’t need me to worry, too.

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