I mustn’t start resenting him now. I did write an e-mail and now I’m worried sick. This is not healthy, but then, don’t we like exactly these things? Why am I so obsessed? Or is it that I just like to think it is affecting me more than it really is? I am so confused. Is it all just a ploy to distract myself from my real problems? I really want to hear from him. I know he probably needs some time. I know when there’s nothing tomorrow morning, I will fall apart. Or I’ll go completely numb.

He has someone to take care of him, if he really needs anyone at all. He certainly doesn’t need me to worry, too.